Living the Dream, hoping I’ll wake up.
By Antonio Graceffo
A friend of mine told me he was on his way to Ohio and that he hated going. He wanted sympathy from me. Telling a New Yorker that you are going anywhere, except back to your own apartment in New York, will normally evoke sympathy.
But in this mixed up, upside down world where the cop is the perp, and the perp is the victim, I envied my friend going to Ohio.
I told him:
Ohio, hugh? For my new TV show, I have to go to Singapore, Hong Kong, and Macao. You know how much I hate travel to begin with. On top of this, I will be staying in a $600 USD per night hotel. BUT I won’t be able to eat or do laundry, because only the room is comped.
This annoys me. I saw Casino. I know how comped is supposed to work. I am allowed to strangle the prostitute as long as she has no family, and useless brother Fredo owns the brothel. But then I have to do whatever Marlon Brando wants me to do, even give Johnny Fontain a part in my new movie.
On top of all of my other travel issues, I have already lived in Hong Kong. So, it’s like, you know, redundant, the same thing, you know, the same thing over and over, repeating, again and again…sort of like subscribing to the New York Times but getting the May 18th, 2004 issue delivered to your doorstep, day, after day, till you finally just give up, and dangle your leg in a vat of dry ice until it has to be amputated.
I have never been to Ohio. You are lucky, seeing something new. Try and see Ohio through my eyes.
I will send them to you, and possibly my left leg as well.
I am talking to a large, well-paid network. They have a famous, TV chef who has agreed to be on my show in (a certain country). And now, large, well-paid network might pay me to be on famous, TV chef show in (a certain country). And large, well-paid network might be offering me my own TV series on large, well-paid network. So, I am pretty excited. But still what?
This is a constant. I keep thinking about fat people who are afraid to loose weight, because they are used to their fat, and fear regret if they loose it. Buyers remorse, also called losers remorse.
And no one wants to be a loser. They don’t even want to be the Biggest Looser. There are even people who get upset when their blood tests come back negative. No one wants to be thought of as negative.
But at the same time, there are people with body integrity identity disorder, who wish to get rid of a limb or body part that they hate.
So, on the one hand, my poverty is a constant, which psychologically, I could attach to in some sort of Helsinki Syndrome, as in (Helsinki, Sweden). On the other hand, I could hate my poverty, like someone suffering from body integrity identity disorder who dangled his leg in dry ice for several hours till it had to be removed.
Why do people from Helsinki always take hostages when they rob a bank? And then why do people fall in love with them? The only Helsinki-ite I have ever worked with is Arman Alizad, from the TV show, Kill Arman, and he never has, to my knowledge, taken a hostage.
Maybe it is a bum rap, like when people say all Italian men know how to cook and cheat on their wives. Some might argue it is because Helsinki is in Finland, and not Sweden. But I think they are just making excuses for bank robbery.
They are a bunch of enablers.
Bt anyway, doing a self-diagnosis:
If I had poverty integrity disorder, I would dangled my poverty in a vat of dry ice and wait for a rich doctor to cut it off. Or, if I have fat-person-fear-of-skinniness disorder, I would cling to my poverty and love it.
Antonio Graceffo is a martial arts and adventure author living in Asia. He is the author of the books, “The Monk from Brooklyn” and “Warrior Odyssey. He is also the host of the web TV show, “Martial Arts Odyssey,” which traces his ongoing journey through Asia, learning martial arts in various countries.
See all of Antonio’s videos on his youtube channel, brooklynmonk1, send him a friend request or subscribe.
Antonio is also on twitter, with the name, Brooklyn Monk. Follow his adventures and tweets.
His books are available on amazon.com
Contact him: Antonio@speakingadventure.com
His website is www.speakingadventure.com sign up for his mailing list on the site.